I am a constant student of life. I am ever evolving. I am called to share what I learn at the level in which it resonates with me because someone is listening and needs to know that there is someone else out there just like me, passing through--just like me. Life is a journey of experiences and in my life’s present experience, I am remembering who I am. You, (who chooses to read my blog) get to share these experiences with me as I learn and grow because a part of who I am allows me to operate in transparency through my writing. You get to be the audience that listens to my heart speak through my fingertips while I continue to find my voice.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on relationships. Particularly the relationships I’ve experienced. I’m wondering about my own ineffectiveness at having a successful relationship with men. I wondered how or why it’s so difficult. There are many reasons, so many. I’ve heard that it's me, I’ve heard it’s them and truthfully I was at a loss as to the reality of it all. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard a man say that my strength is intimidating and I felt like, “if I hear that ONE MORE TIME,” I’m going to snap!!! But I gotta be honest, there is some truth to my strength being too much for a man who isn’t ready for a strong woman. Now, strong doesn’t mean controlling or aggressive--not challenging, it simply means, being assertive, and knowing what you want and not settling, having integrity and character (among other qualities). The reality, the strength of a woman is what should attract a male, not repel him.
I think the inner misogynistic views of some of our brothas (meaning the secret hate they hold in their heart against women) is one reason why so many relationships fail. The subconscious is real, which is why actions almost never align to words when entertaining some men. It is my belief that our subconscious always leads the way! For instance, in my case, I will always get something in my mind that I will or will not do only to be faced with the action of doing or not doing the opposite. Go figure! To me, it’s a lesson in surrendering to my true self (that’s for another post).
But get this... Sistas, if you have internal negative feelings about self, then you cannot pass the buck onto the men who come into your life... that's the energy you summon--face it, you (we) are a part of the problem too. And… if I’m keeping it real… some of you are secretly operating under misandry. Another reason why so many relationships fail. I admit, it has been the negative feelings I believed about myself that have conjured the type of men that have either been too weak for me, which made me appear to strong for them, abandoned me as I abandon my true self in order to please them, or have broken the trust, as I have subconsciously expected them to eventually lie anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I am not all to blame as we are all fucked up and hiding behind some kind of hurt, but in my grown up self, I must take responsibility. It’s all about awareness. Awareness of self. What I’m trying to say is there was no balance. You gotta KNOW that YOU manifest (whether you believe in the power and law of manifestation or not) who and what YOU are!!!
Ever heard of the Law of Polarity? It is the reason why there is always, always, always an opposite. “Everything is dual. Everything has poles. Everything has its pair of opposites. Like and unlike are the same. Opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree.” (105 Universal Laws; Hughes) For this reason when you see something as it is, know that there is an opposite operating in the Universe. I like to think that one cannot operate without the other. The author also writes about this law, “Like the swing of the pendulum, it always returns where it began. In biblical terms it is expressed as, “Whatsoever a man sows, so shall he reap.” “Do unto others, as you would have them to you.” This principle establishes the paradox or the dual aspects of reality. “Everything that is, has its double, positive and negative, light and darkness, hot and cold, love and fear, mortality and immortality.” That’s why what you put out in the conscious and the subconscious returns back to you. They are equal yet opposite--balanced. Get it?
I am learning that we have to FIRST treat ourselves with the love, compassion, empathy, and understanding that we expect from someone else, because then, we are meeting each other in alignment and there is no need to seek that in another. Be your own soul mate. The relationship with ourselves determine the relationship you will have with someone else.
As for me, I am ending the cycle of falling in love with anything that is externally gratifying and rising up in love with everything that is internally magnetizing, mystifying, and magickal--all that is me.
Peace. Love. Light. #risingupinlove
