Girl... love yourself first...

So I was on Facebook yesterday, well I'm on Facebook everyday, but anyway... I follow Zane's page. So her Facebook fan page is set up where she provides commentary and advice to her fans after they have sent questions, concerns, situations, etc. to her asking her thoughts on the subject.

Many of what I presume are emails being submitted to her yesterday were mainly from women, who are cheating with married men. Some are married or in relationships as well, but are completely in love with the married man. Now, I have no comment on this particular subject because to each his/her own. But, out of the posts and there were more than, I'll say 20, women were asking advice on how or why they are in love with this married man and how can they shake the feeling and leave said man alone. I mean they sounded sincere, some even indicated that they tried to walk away, just to come running back. I don't really understand, erase that... I do understand, but my question to the women is, "have we stopped caring about ourselves so much that we allow ourselves to disrespect each other by sleeping with, falling in love, and pinning over our sister's husband/man?" Is this symbolic for low self-esteem and self-worth? Why don't you care more about yourself? Why is it that women allow ourselves to lose who we are when it comes to relationships and men (or women)? I'm by no means being judgmental of what these sisters are going through, but for once, I'd just like for us to look in see that we're more than someone's side piece or 2nd best. It's crazy that half of us would much rather play the role of 2nd best because we don't want to feel the pangs of loneliness than wait around for the man that deserves us as his 1st or one-and-only. We do make it too easy for men! I'm not male bashing, but I just feel like it's time for us all to put our big girl/boy panties on and stop the foolishness - myself included.  We fool ourselves into thinking that "he may be at home, but he's at home thinking about me".. no he's at home showing his wife how much he loves her and his family. I don't care how much it would cost a man to leave or how much it would hurt the children, if a man was that unhappy, a decent enough man, a real man, would leave one situation alone before jumping into another, otherwise, he isn't worth the time and effort.

Oh, there was one man who wrote in and he is contemplating cheating because his wife has cheated on him, and although the women that he's interested in has a wall up because she's been cheated on...now if he pursues her, how is she going to feel about him and the fact that he's still married but hurting obviously  from his wife cheating on him.

Women need to learn to be happy loving themselves first, and then opening the door to someone else loving them. There is something to said about the reflection in the relationships that we endure. If you are willing to be a 2nd place winner than why should he put in the effort to make you first place? If you are allowing your time to spent pinning over a man who would much rather live a double life (he has to want it because he's comfortable in it), than why should he make an effort to live a committed life with you? If you are sitting back having a glass of wine wondering what "your man" is at home doing with his wife and possibly children, than you are responsible for the misery that you feel. Pinning over someone will kill your spirit!

I'm not condoning the aspect of cheating, but what I'm saying is - don't sit at home, or fall in love with a man that doesn't belong to you.. if it's just time spent or sex, than let that be it... I would much rather you be with someone that isn't obligated to someone else or make him prove how much he wants to be with you by changing his circumstances to prove it. If he can't, than you shouldn't spend your waking moments thinking about him or waiting until he can make time for you.

There is a man whose heart is open.. his heart is sending out vibrations of love and support and he's waiting to find a heart beat to match his own, but he can't find it because you're heart is beating an arrhythmia, not pumping enough blood into your body because of it's irregular rhythm dealing with an irregular situation skipping along to a vibration that doesn't belong to you because his belongs to his wife's. It's not about letting him go... it's about allowing yourself to win!

I've learned throughout life and relation-SHITS and -SHIPS that if you don't allow yourself to heal, than you're going to end up in the same situation and hurt, they just come in different forms.

my thoughts were raging on this... but I feel like being happy with/in self is more important that anything...

xoxo

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It's not always about what you say or what you do, sometimes, I'll say possibly one tenth of the time it is about who you are...

In a slump...

Why is it so hard to get started on most of the things that are really second nature to you... like for instance, with me it's writing.

I have what I consider some amazing ideas in my head for topics and stores to be written, I mean books, on top of books, but for some reason, I can't get started.

Many of my books, I've created outlines, which include the beginning, middle, end as well as characters and the origins of these characters and everything and I've just sat on them.

I'm thinking that I'm lacking motivation, but why do I need motivation to capture what's already so vividly and deeply rooted in me.

I consider myself to be in a slump right now... and I'm not sure what's going to get me going really.

Thoughts? Any ideas? I don't have writers block because I know what I want to write and what I want to say. Am I just being lazy? Is it the lack of time in my day? I keep hearing in my spirit, "motivation" so maybe I am lacking motivation, but what will motivate me?

Anyone even following this blog? LOL