In a mood today…

Moody is an interesting way to put it. I don't honestly believe that I am going crazy, however I understand that my choice of words because when I have to describe how I feel, it is exactly that…like I'm going crazy. I think it’s the lack of control over my emotions that makes me feel "crazy,” “moody,” just plain not in control. I started off my morning very irritable-cranky-moody-with sensitivity to noise and just plain everything around me. As my day progresses, it will eventually lead to sadness, sorrow and feelings of despair...yet at the same time during the day, I will at times feel fine. If I'm busy that helps, but as soon as I stop, not so good. I know that hormones can be the cause of this, but I honestly don’t feel like I have a hormonal imbalance at this time. I'm trying to do whatever I can to feel better, but looking for the reason, isn't one of those things. Others may disagree, but for me I can't find the reason and that leads me to have even more misplaced feelings.

I just want to scream, “ahhhhhhhh, what is wrong with me,” I kind of attribute my moodiness to my zodiac sign. Cancers are moody, sensitive, emotional, protective, and loving. It’s true, I can be described as all of the above, but what I don’t get is why the moody part? If I have characteristics that can be so positive, why does there have to have a mix of something negative thrown in the equation? Should I refer to it as negative? I haven’t really hurt anyone’s feelings, or cursed anyone out as a result. I know I’m in this mood, I’ve seen this mood… I even told my coworker that I was in a FUNKY mood today, and I would probably be really quiet today!!!! That’s a stretch for me because I’m normally talkative and jovial! Truth be told, I hate it when I get like this… and I can’t even blame it on being a female…

But these lyrics, I am really feelin’ right now:

"Getaway" by Monica

[Verse 1:]

Started as a little girl

Singing so changed my world

Flipped my world upside down

I got lost and I couldn't be found

So much on my shoulders

So much on my mind

Since no one can help me

I think I just need some time

[Chorus:]

Sometimes I wish I could hide away

Looking for a place to getaway

Getaway from all the heartache and pain that life can bring

I really don't want to sound

Like I can't hold my ground

But everybody needs some time

That they can getaway

[Verse 2:]

Sometimes I wish I was invisible

'Cause then no one will know

Where I am to ask me for anything

'Cause I've given so much of me

When it's a time for me to receive

'Cause Monica has her needs

Who's going to look out for me?

[Chorus:]

[Verse 3:]

You know I'm not superwoman

And I'm not made of steel

I try my best to handle

All I have to deal with

It's not as easy as it seems

And to think this was my dream

Now for everything I have I'm grateful

But sometimes I want to get away

[Chorus:]

[Chorus:]

[Chorus:]

Sigh, this too shall pass…

xo